Changing “I Have to” to “I Get to” – Sean James | Episode 8

Hello and I’ll welcome to another episode of the quest for new inspiration. My Name Is KT Maschler. One of the reasons I started this podcast is because I was lacking inspiration in my own life. So while I was searching for it, I figured I’d share it with you guys, and this week I had the opportunity of chatting with Sean James. I hope he inspires you as I legache inspired me. Do you want to explain a bit to me about who you are and what you do, that kind of stuff? My name is Sean James and I am glad to be on quest for inspiration. Inspiration is something that I try to give every single day a little bit about me. I am a kid that grew up in the Midwest. I grew up in a small town called hudgers on Kansas and was afforded to unbelievable parents and unbelievable community believable teammates, which afforded me to go to college and Play College football, and I was successful in two sports in college and once I finished my college years, I went on become a free agent for the Minnesota Viking. I was there one year as a practice player one year as an active player, and then I was released and picked up by the Chicago bears in ninety five, so that led me to New York City this year in July. It will be my thirtieth year and honestly it does. It feels like I’ve been here like ten years. You know how you hear older people saying it’s going to go fast, yea it does. I moved here at twenty two in fifty two now I can’t tell you forty to fifty was like the fastest decade of my life. It goes really quickly, so anyone out there that’s thinking that it doesn’t go fast. You have time but be productive in your time. I guess you know I’m a serial entrepreneur. I have a company called bequest management to financial management company where we have four arms of our business. It’s private banking, private equity, Cs that we bring on board. But what I m mostly do is I inspire athletes that are either retiring or high net worth people that are getting started. I think what we fail to realize that even going to college, they don’t teach you about financial literacy, and a lot of that is something that is taught at home if you’re lucky enough to come from a good pedigree or, if you’re lucky enough, just to have someone educated that understands how money works. So I became fascinated without after I was a player because I saw so many guys really not understand how money works and the key to that is interesting, Stat. Seventy two percent of the people that win the lottery in our country within five years are right back to where they started they’re broke. You can’t tell me that wealthy people don’t know something that you don’t know, and that’s kind of been my mission of scene, almost ninety nine percent of the NB players that get divorced filled for bankruptcy. Almost forty two percent of nfluence make millions of dollars are living by. You know ends meeting on a daily basis, they’re waiting for their their retirement, and so these things are really important in the sense of just the sector that I work in, which is really high net with people sports figures and the other arm is non profit. I’m a philanthropist and what I realized real quick is to be able to sustain a philanthropy, business or operation or organization. You got to make money, there’s not too many a broke for antepast out there. You got to be able to sustain money and which ties back to why I teach financial literacy, those things work, hand in hand, so it was very important for me to be able to give back and help people if anything show them the way. I think the easiest way to be successful is to follow successful people and understand their habits and the things that they do on a daily basis. But, more importantly, I think a lot of people out there think that success is just something that is about luck. It’s not love, it. Don’t never be luck! You know even the people that come from a pedigree of wealth. It’s you still have to be able to sustain it, and- and that’s where I come in- that’s where I saw my purpose- was to be able to teach people, financial literacy, more importantly, understanding how money works and then understand the mind set of an entrepreneur. It is not pretty it’s painful, but when you’re successful it could be one of the most free things in the world. I’ve been able to exit three companies, I’ve sold them. I’ve done a lot of different things and many different secures from the creative arts to the philanthropy space. I have two organizations once called Sean James Student athletes, where we send under privilege, kids between the ages of Eightfourteen to sports canton, creative arts camps from from Broadway to theater, to Princeton’s football camp and we’re associated with four different universities: Princeton K, U Yeah Rock Chock C State and U Cla in Maryland, and so I try to kind of cover the globe in the sense of just west coast, east coast, Middle America, and then, of course, I haven’t gotten anything down south. Yet so that’s kind of what I do and then you know I’d love to talk to you about how I got it done and what I, what I did to get there: okay, so well for first off financial, just like knowledge and like it’s so important, I’m lucky enough to have the mom I did and just yea knew all of this banking and financial stuff just like automatically. So she just naturally talk that stuff. Otherwise I would have come to college. Not I known anything I would wouldn’t have known. I first came across you is you did a anti bowling presentation viewer high and I was just super inspired. Do you want to talk a little bit about that platform? Yeah? A lot of the things that I do have to mean something to me and as an athlete growing up in a small town like Cutcheon, I didn’t really deal with being bullied so much. I grew up in a time where I e t s a s that I didn’t. There was really no division per se and the way that we see it even now, you know so I didn’t deal with like someone beating me up, or you know, making fun of the way that I dress. I am extremely privileged in that way. I have really good parents come from an educated background and there was really no way that you could bully me without me allowing you to, but why I was able to do. That is because I was a good athlete and I think what we feel to realize when we’re young sport and Midwest is like Sport and south. It ties together, here’s something called Friday, Night Lights or something that everypody can identify with with the local high school, and that really shielded me from maybe perhaps some of the things I might have dealt with. If I wasn’t occupied being good at something, and I think a lot of people don’t find how great they are in other aspects of life until later in life and so sport we played from the time that were five years old from kindergarten all the way to twelfth grade. I was able to escape that because I was always good at something, so I added value to anything that I bought or I was asked to be on the sports team, and I knew that. I think I had a really good understanding either of my Eq, my emotional intelligence of other people, and I remember what it felt like when people would. You know, do something as simple as pick teams and I was always the first picked and it was just normal, but I remember toward the end, the last two or three kids, and I remember I e it was even hard for me to look at it. I always felt some way I didn’t I cared and I never really articulated that when I was young, but I was like man. What must it feel like them to be? The last picked right, for whatever reason it might be, and that stuck with me, I think my parents had a lot to do with giving back and then, when I got to the to the to the point where I could actually impact it, because people listen to what I had to say and a lot of that had to do with being a info player form in F L player and having access to other forming in FL players. I wanted to spend this this negative perception of big tough guys into something that was really really powerful motivating in the sense of if I have access to a lot of different types of fl players, and I can write a curriculum and empower the very thing that I saw missing when I was a kid to help other kids that aren’t athletes. They might not even be that smart, but they may be their gifted and bay, it maybe their gifted dancers, maybe they’re gifted many different things. I could tell you five people right now that were bully prints from the artist only known as prince just in Timber Lake, I could go Justin Lieber. All these kids were bullied because they were creatives and they weren’t good on the hockey rink or football field. They were just good at singing and dancing and there’s a stigma that comes with that right. That stigma is you’re gay. You might not be tough. You know real man play sports and I wanted to sing and I wanted to dance. But I didn’t tell anybody, but I was smart and so my e Q, my emotional intelligence, which I don’t think that we value enough at the local level in the sense of just like how do we teachkids there’s five different learning ways to teach kids and a lot of it’s just all academia right. I was fortunate enough to be smart, so I didn’t really get bullied and ask that aspect, but I wanted to change the narrative of how we can actually implement curriculum in schools to really put the athletes on the spot and the people that were popular in a way that we can empower others. So we can create a community because it’s always going to be about community okay. So where do you find all of this inspiration to? Let you share with other people like I follow you an Instar, and I know just like on a daily basis. You’re sharing these in ritual quotes and just stuff that literally to help anybody. Where do you? Is there a place? So you go to fain some of it to mate. I think I was born with some of this, but to be honest with you, it’s other people, it’s very simple. I think humans make things complicated and I read a lot and so I’m inspired by people. It’s always been my go to right. I’ll, give you a quick story in order to be an FL football player. You know what I did. I studied n FL football players I ate like them. I talked like them. I worked out like them. I did everything possible to persevere and you know what I didn’t quit right. The thing is is that we have this thing in America, which is a good thing because we’re a winning country, but it’s either you win or you loose, and I wanted to spend that on his head and basically say no, I’m either behind or on ahead. I’m never losing right because everyone that’s been successful from just Jeff Bezo to Eland Musk. They lost at some point. Something didn’t go right for them, but they kept going. So a lot of my inspiration is really about people, and you know, that’s obviously has to do with them a little bit older, so I’ve experienced some good and bad. In my life, I went through a divorce I went through. I went through so many different things that made me persevere but, more importantly, made me understand that you’re, a combination of the people that you spend the most time with and your habits are a big part of your environment. So if you change the environment like, for instance, I’ll give you an example K. U is an environment in a community and the people that signed up to go there when they were. Seventeen know that there is an environment that they can be safe. They can flourish and, more importantly, they’re going to win right. I Associate Katy basketball with the students. You guys are winners. I associate CA state football with the students, their winners, so I gravitate toward the communities that are actually winning because they’re doing something better than everybody else, and it’s there there’s an abundance of winning. You just got to find it. You have to find that abundance. You have to go navigate to put yourself in the place to win, and so many people don’t want to do that. So they get mad at the winners, but they had the opportunity to do the same thing that you’re doing, which is. You worked your butt off to get into K, ou you’re a graduate now and now you’re going to flourish, because when people hear rock John Jayhawk, that means something to them right, and I think what’s funny about my outlook on that is that I didn’t go to either Kaku or Wichita state, so any time someone’s winning I’ll post. Something and all my Casa friends are like Oh freaking. We saw they suck and then, when k says doing well on my cad for Ju, like forget case, safe they’re whack. So it’s funny because when you’re not in it, you know. For me, it’s Kansas right, like the many things that I didn’t like about Kansas. As I got older, there were ultimately the things that I love. They were my values, the people, the community, the Cromarty, the teams of the sports, the food and just all the things that make people feel good and, like I said you are a combination of the people that you’re around in your environment and that environment will give you better ideals. Yo’ll, give you better ways of thinking and, more importantly, when you have good people around you, you won’t go left as much you’ll go right more and that’s really what life’s about it’s about finding people that have done the things that you want to do and ask them about their mistakes and their failures versus how they got there, because if you don’t do the same mistakes in the foes that they have you’re going to be a quicker way, you’re going to get there a lot quicker than they did, and that’s really what it’s about. I find people that truly want to help me, and I think sometimes, as as we were younger, were scared to ask, because we skip were scared that they might, we might, they might say no or we’re scared to let people that we don’t know you don’t know everything. I don’t know everything. So the quickest way to get an answer is that as a person, that’s smarter than you and tell them. I think that you’re smarter, I mean you have more experience. Can you tell me about how you got to where you’re going, and that’s really what it’s about? Even for this podcast like when I started it, I had to like motivate myself to like reach out to these certain people, and just let like I was scared to reach out to you, and even even though I know our pen, my mom’s, like your frind, like your acquaintances. No, I I just. I knew that you had all this inspiration to share but, like I was just not letting myself do it, but I was like I had to just get over that and be like. No, he people are going to be helpful. People want to share their inspiration. People want to give advice so yeah. I let me comment about your take on even being scared to reach out to me. That’s real right. People are busy people that look look important a lot of times. You don’t think they have the time. The reason that I’m with you right now is because of your parents. Your parents have been good to me, their good friends of mine and that’s what we fail to realize when I say access your parents have access to me and the more that you have better people to have access to right. Just think about not college. Think about nothing about college. Think about the people that you met in college. Will they take your call? Why do they follow you? What are you? What value are you bringing to the table and just by you saying, because I knew my mom had a relationship with you and my parents knew who you were, and I grew up around your parents to grew up around your uncle. You know he was my trainer and went on to be a great. You know US trainer Doctor. Those things are important, and sometimes we don’t value them when we’re actually going through it, and so the sound bike that I’m giving you right now is access and awareness is everything. You are aware that you knew me you had spoken to me. You had saw me and I’m pretty busy right, but this is important to me because let me explain something to you when people show me that they meet that they have a purpose and they want to do something and they’re diligent and doing that, I’m here to help you it’s the people that say a lot of things and they don’t follow up, and so the first you know thing I always so. Young entrepreneurs is, if you want better ideas, follow better people. I’m Goin say it again: it’s a great sound bite if you want better ideals, follow better people and a lot of that’s being able to have it in warnes, and so so many of us don’t understand that in life and relationships in business. It’s all the same. You know people who say well, I’m very good at business, but I suck a relationships. You don’t you haven’t put forth the effort that you put in your business as you would in a relationship. You are the same person in everything that you do and when you own that you’ll be good at everything that you want to actually experience right. So I say that because I think so many younger people when I say younger, I mean I deal with I deal with inflates that could buy me ten times but they’re twenty five right. They have more money than me. They might even have more access to me, but what they don’t have is the experience of understanding that that means nothing. If you don’t have the right people around you and that’s hard, because people are based around communities and communities are based around trust and trust is basic, surround everything that we do. I trust you because of the Association of Your Mom and Dad. If you were some random person, I’d probably be like you know what I’m not sure you know I’ll get back to you and I would have maybe done some research. I didn’t have to do that because of the relationship which gave you the access, which is how it works. It’s very simple right when you under when you think about when you think about wealth. You know, I always say people associate wealth with things and money, and I remember working at I work in wealth management. I’ve been around so many wealthy people, but I saw so many of them. They weren’t good people. Now a lot of them were and a lot of them gave back and a lot of them created access and open doors for others. But I’m going to give you this I’m going to read something that I pick is important, because I think really you know, podcast are about sound bites and it’s about learning a giving gems to people. There’s four types of Real: Well: There’s financial wealth which equals money, their social wealth which equal status there’s time, wealth which you equals freedom right. That’s what I have right now by me having money. I have time time you can’t get back, it’s the only thing that we have is equable in every venture out there. It’s in relationships in businesses, time is so key and, more importantly, physical wealth right, that’s health, my right! If you’re sick and you have a bunch of money. What difference is it made and then there’s spiritual wealth, qualities and experience that have nothing to do with possessions? These are extremely important to a a loving family we can create. Hopefully we come from one a lot of people. Don’t right. We have to have the awareness that everyone doesn’t come from. What we come from the other one is good health, which I talked about. That’s just as important as any kind of wealth in a peace of mind right I suffer with depression right. I was diagnosed at thirty seven and I probably was depressed when I was twenty five I didn’t know, but you know you have a lot of people go on depressed. What depression? Is it just someone that got broke up with their boyfriend air girlfriend? It’s much deeper that it’s chemical, so the peace of mind, is so important to me because I suffer depression and you know ten years ago I couldn’t told you that, because I would have thought that you would have been able to judge me. I don’t care now, because I’m successful I give back, and I know that it’s something that I will have to manage the rest of my life and then the last one is the wealth is the spiritual wealth of giving back, and you can do that in so many ways, not financially. I feel that I’m giving back speaking to you on this podcast and I love to say this. I get to do this, I don’t have to. If we can change I have to to I get to and everything that we do in life. It will change our perception of how we look through the world at the world through the Lens that we look through it. I get to hang out with you for thirty five minutes. Forty minutes, however long this is going to be, and it’s my pleasure and hopefully you will reciprocate and when you have two people that respect one another and they can look at each other and reciprocate. That’s when you have a really good relationship and that’s how you can get things done in like so I get to do this versus I have to, and it’s really about having those social understanding of what wealth is it’s not just money and possessions. That’s perfect! I love that okay, you’ve shared so much inspiration. I knew you’d be perfect for this podcast. But do you have one last piece of advice to say not full? I guess me and or your twenty five year old self. What advice would you give in? I would say this: Twenty five is an amazing age, because you’re not a kid any more and you’re, no longer a teenager and those that were lucky enough to go to college. We understand that if you think about your senior year in high school versus your senior year in college, how different of a person you were in those four years us process that those that didn’t get to go to college might have started a job or a career or entrepreneur, or maybe they went into the army or the reserves or whatever still the Lens is still pretty much the same, don’t be so hard on yourself. Don’t think that the degree that you got or didn’t get to find you right explore, learn meet people that don’t look like you understand people that don’t look like you, because you can always go back to your circle, our circles, home right, our circles, you and me right. We come from the same place. Our Circle is knowing that. Maybe we could go to pray dunes and golf or we can go to Roy’s barbecue right. Those things mean something to me, and I didn’t realize that when I was twenty five because I was trying to get away from him, I was trying to escape that, and so my suggestion, I’ll read a couple o things to you. The first to apologize is the bravest right men relationships. Never let your ego get in the way of someone that you truly love. I know it’s easier said been done, I’m the victim of it. My Ego was so big and I’m like well, you know what they did this to mean. I’m not going to be friends with him. The first to apologize is the bravest, and you know what if I died tomorrow, I would want my tune stone to say he was brave right. The second is the first to forget: is the strongest I’m sorry, it’s okay to say, you’re, sorry and the quicker that if you say that twenty five it’ll be easier at thirty five and super easy at forty five and fifty five so start down, and then the last would be the first to forget is the happiest right and you have to do one and two first before you could forgive it right, you have to apologize, you have to figure out. What can I do to make it better? How can I fix this and, more importantly, that’s when you really start to have the joy, because those things can own you for a really long time and that’s where mental illness comes? That’s why you see so many older people that are just frustrated with their lives because they couldn’t do those simple things: the Ego Guy I’ve seen guys lose so much money because of ego. You know ruin relationships because of ego and girls. I think girls might even be worse because girls, girls, don’t forget they hold on to that and they’re like you know what she did this to me, and I just cannot forgive that. Let it go. I have another thing I always say to is successful. People are just unsuccessful. People who know how to recover, never think be our mistake or somehing that you’ve done should stop you. As I said earlier in the beginning of this conversation, don’t quit just learn how not to do what you did the last time better and better and better right. You got remember when the Kansas City, cheese weren’t that good yea right yeah. Let me just tell you this: they created a community and a fan based that has always been there right and we’re loyal to them right. Because of that to the point we’re almost as loyal, I think, even lawyer than the Dallas Cowboys, which is America’s team right. We kick their ASS, so a lot of what I’m saying is being able to apologize and figure out how to do it. Better is what the chiefs did and from that their leader Mahom’s owns that because he’s their leader, and sometimes we don’t look at the the the the the the big pitcher. It’s all about leadership right and part of being twenty five is figuring out. Who are the leaders are around you that you have access to? How can they help you and how can you add value to them right? It seemes, if you could just have the opportunity to have access to him, go ask him. So how did you get that house? How did you get that Mercedes? How did you get anything that you want right, there’s an abundance of joy and love and things you can all have it. The problem is, is that so many people don’t think they can’t they don’t think they can be successful. They’re like well, I didn’t go to the right school. I don’t come for money, I don’t have the resources. Yes, you can you have it. You just got to go, get it. It will not come to you. You have to wake up. Even when you have it. I have a lot I had to get up and get it every day I have to find more. I have to be able to feel good about sharing my thoughts with you, and maybe someone that might listen to this might be empowered by if you’re listening to this there’s an abundance out there, and all that means is that there’s so much air we all share. It airs like the Pie, there’s a piece of the Pie for you to, even if it’s a small slipper that is success. So that’s what I would check. That’s perfect, perfect! Thank you so much that there’s any way I can help you I’m like. I said if you need me for anything, I’m here for you, okay, T. thank you. So much have I to begin. Thank you for listening to this week’s episode of the quest for new inspiration, be sure to check out the show notes for all of Seans social media links and, if you’re feeling Super Generous, please leave a rating or even and make sure to subscribe on your favorite podcast platform.